CAR COMMERCIALS AND LEAD FEET

Back in the day, cars were cars. They all looked alike, and people still got from point A to point B. Over the years, they have evolved into all sorts of shapes and colors, and I think that variety and competition are good. But now, we are supposedly “in love” with our cars, which is mildly disturbing.

For example, the recent Cadillac car commercial ends with this: “I have one question for you. Whenever you turn on your car, does it return the favor?” I almost had coffee shooting out of my nose whenever that line was delivered in a low sexy voice. What the heck? My husband and I had a good laugh about it, but I DID remember it. So, OMG, was I part of the target audience? How embarrassing! Well, I am not a status symbol girl, so I would say – uh, nah!

Anyway, that leads me to another favorite subject. I am convinced that road rage is a genetic issue. People either have road rage, or they don’t. I am fortunate in the way that I don’t get fighting mad if someone “cuts me off,” but I probably cause road rage…singing to my hippie music. Sorry road rage readers!

This is what I don’t understand. I give courtesy seconds to people if they are sitting at a green light. However, after my courtesy seconds expire, I give a little “honk.” Not “hooooooooonk” or even “honk, honk,” just a simple, gentle, loving tap of a “honk.” Some people drive off without incident, but I think that it’s so weird whenever people give a mad “honk” back. It’s like a protest honk. Are they saying: “Don’t you know that I was sitting at this light on purpose? You dimwitted fool!” Or, maybe I am interpreting it wrong. Maybe they are honking a “thank you” to me. But…somehow…I don’t think so. They usually seem ticked, and I don’t think that I will ever understand that.

Beware: Loving “honks” can be fatal! This actually DID happen to me. I was at a red light, and there were two burly men in two pickup trucks in front of me, just shooting the breeze at the light. So, the light turned green. I gave more than my usual courtesy seconds because (A) They were burly. (B) I wanted them to be able to say goodbye without an obnoxious honk ruining the beautiful moment. Alas, finally, I honked. The burly man in front and to the right of me revved up his engine. RRRRrrrrrrrrrrrrr! He shot me the meanest look in the South. Then, he acted like he was going to ram the side of my car. Holy cow! I pretended not to see him and dramatically slowed down in order to keep from being killed.

If nothing else, people with road rage, weaving in and out of traffic and slamming on breaks will get less gas mileage, and that is sweet satisfaction for me these days!