THE INVISIBLE WORLD...TO BE ALOOF

Okay, what the heck is a Loofah? All right, I know what it is, but no one seems to know how to spell it as it can be spelled “Luffa, Loofah or Lufah,” according to the world’s leading resource in such matters: Wikipedia!

I think that products like Loofahs are overrated. However, it seems that they are all the rage in luxurious bath products. Everyone is buying them in multiple sizes and colors. Oh, and don’t forget to pick up the soap with grains of sand in it to really scrub away those pesky dead skin cells. Ouch! Here’s the thing: So, unless you toss the Loofah each night you wash, well, aren’t you just scrubbing the old skin cells back on the newly revealed ones? Gasp!

For that, and obvious germy reasons, I choose washcloths over Loofahs. I guess that you have to be “aloof” that there are germs and dead skin cells festering in the Loofah. Or, spell it backwards. Quite revealing. Like playing an old 1980s album backwards. Yeah, I am talking vinyl. Remember those hidden messages? Or, maybe that was something my older brothers used to tell me to occupy me while they did something truly cool.

I don’t want you to get the wrong idea, like I am a germ phobic freak. I keep a moderate amount of dust in the home. Builds up the immune system. Plus, I like to spend my spare time doing other things besides housework, but there is no need to purposefully grow cultures in one’s own home!

The next victim of my product tirade is the plastic toothbrush case that protects the bristles from all the “evil germs” in the outside world. What about the smorgasbord of germs having a party inside the plastic case? Yumm. I get the point for traveling, but for everyday use? I say: "Air out those bristles!"

By the way, it is SO not okay to borrow someone’s toothbrush, especially without asking. (Moment of silence while I remember the absolute horror of it all). It is not like a hairbrush. It is a TOOTHBRUSH. I actually had a debate about this with someone near and dear to my heart. I thought that little unspoken rules like this were beyond reproach. Apparently not.

Last but not least—the toilet bowl scrubber. People actually use the same one for years. It’s not like those doodads are expensive. Let’s just break the bank and invest in new scrubbers every now and then; shall we? One of my friends had a roommate who actually cleaned their toilet bowl scrubber in the DISHWASHER. Yeah, she had a heart-to-heart about that one: “Hey, man, it’s really, ummmm, not the 'best' idea to mix toilet scrubbers and dishes.” Talk about an extra kick in the recipe, eh?